"I ain't even white." |
School to this point has been, for the lack of a better term, a joke.
We saw students approximately 9 days out of the entire month of September due to holidays, the papal visit, etc. I feel behind. I feel behind in every sense of the word: educationally, relationally, mentally. I am not in a groove and neither are the students. I have been doing the best I can to learn about my new students even though our schedules have not allowed us to see each other regularly. An interesting conversation was sparked recently in my classroom about families in my first period class. I don't quite remember how the conversation began, but it centered around siblings in families. I only had about 5 students in the room, so I asked each of them how many siblings they had. I only very specifically remember 3 of their answers: One student said: "I live with 8 siblings, but my mom has 13 kids." Thirteen. My student's mother gave birth to 13 children. Uncommon. Not unheard of. Student two said: "I know my dad has 21 kids. But I only live with the kids my mom has." Twenty-one. That's a number of children her father has in real life. Just a fact. Student three said: "I couldn't even tell you. I don't know." No number. There's no number in this conversation... just there are some in the world, and by some he meant a lot. My heart was already breaking thinking about not knowing their siblings. But there are some really encouraging facets of large families. A lot of my students find comfort and refuge in their siblings. They are a source of love and support, and I am so appreciative of the large family structure, especially on big nights like prom and graduation. These families show the heck up. Big families are the best cheerleaders. It's not all bad. But here's something they addressed immediately following the sibling conversation: I asked, "Do all of your families live in Southwest?" Students answered that most of them do. Most of their entirely families live right around the same block. Then a student exclaimed, "That's why I always gotta ask who people are related to!" When I asked for clarification, the female students in the room all elaborated on the fact that if they are interested in a boy from their neighborhood, they need to ask the following questions of them: "What's your last name? Who's your mom? Who's your dad? Who's your grandmom? What about cousins?" Etc. One of the girls said, "No seriously, that happened to me. I started talking to this boy, and I found out he was my cousin. It freaked me out. I can't date anyone from here." The final comment on the conversation from another student was, "This is kinda sad..." What was I supposed to say? It's not a good problem to have... I saw two issues in their family structures: 1. They have few (if any) members of their family that have left Philadelphia to achieve a particular goal or dream. So many of my students would benefit from leaving the drama of their hometown. But no one's ever done it so... 2. They have little confidence in the permanence of love and relationships. That leads to a whole mess of consequences... But none of the issues have to do with my students. They are reaping the repercussions of their parents... of society as a whole. And they follow suit. I just feel like there are so many things with which I simply cannot relate. What do I say to my students when they realize that something in their life is "kinda sad"? Try to remind them that they are the ones to break the cycle? To change the course of their family tree? I'm not sure if that's the right approach... but I'm going to keep telling them I believe they can do it until I think of a better one.
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AuthorA young woman trying to figure out why she matters and where she belongs in a struggling, urban culture. CategoriesArchives
November 2016
All stories, opinions, and suggestions are written strictly by the author of this blog, and do not reflect the opinions or stance of Communities in Schools of Philadelphia.
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